boredom and busyness

The third time in two weeks I tried to submit an art proposal. The last two times I gave up 20 minutes before the deadline. This time I think I missed the deadline by two minutes, and it was a terribly put together submission, but at least I tried. Oh well, next year.

I actually asked to take off early today to work on my submission, so technically I had a whopping six hours to do it (which wouldn’t have been enough time the last two times, but this time it’s much simpler and I really felt confident to be able to submit something even if I had just two hours). Yet I still wasted enough time and procrastinated enough to have—at least technically—missed it.

Anyway, I ran into VM, UH, and MBV today (by dropping by the studio to see who’s there, of course). I literally quipped that “It’s so rare to run into people in the summer.” (Turns out both VM and UH have their monitor shifts on Wednesdays, and VM’s start at 7.) And oddly enough, when I said I feel disconnected in the summer, VM said she feels bored.

“Bored,” of course, is also how I’m feeling (maybe even more so than “disconnected”). A few weeks ago I actually mentioned this to PC and he totally misunderstood what boredom means. He must have thought boredom is when you have nothing to do, or he wouldn’t have suggested that I “get ready to feel unbored.” I knew better (and it looks like VM would have totally understood me): boredom has nothing to do with the amount of work you do.

The last few weeks have been so ridiculously busy I couldn’t put together a single proper proposal: I’m still bored to death.