I went to the studio late today, and when I got there it was already 7, which of course meant there was little chance I would be able to work on my thesis, because I had to trim, and because it was supposed to be a plate and I am still figuring out plates, trimming would take a lot of time. Which was exactly what happened: By the time I had trimmed the “plate” to something that looked like a deep dish, it was already 9:30 so I didn’t even have time to glaze my bisques, let alone work on my thesis. But in any case, I was happy to find that all the big noisy machines were gone, and the studio is quiet again. There’s some chance of progress again. Except that it’s probably already too late. I’m screwed.
June 20, 2014. That was what I saw when I dug out my old thesis proposal — the one I abandoned in favour of the one I submitted but now also abandoned — today to figure out my direction. I knew we now only have eight months, but I had forgotten that before the change we still only had nine and a half months instead of a full year. Under the new scheme we actually “only” got one and a half months less. Which sort of makes things look brighter, I suppose. And while still tentative, it now looks like my direction has firmed.
Just got notice that there’s another deadline in two and a half weeks. I really feel this is being rammed through. Maybe not for others, for those who have succeeded in keeping up with all the previous deadlines (which, in theory, are all reasonable and laudable); but I just barely managed and I’m no longer keeping up. I have barely even finalized my direction, and now I have to formalize this direction which hasn’t even been finalized. I wonder if I’m going to make it ever, and if I do manage to, what kind of work I’ll produce. I suspect it won’t be very good work. The first professor I talked to (I don’t even remember who that was) who discouraged me and tried hard to talk me out of it was probably right all along.