Went to two openings yesterday because I thought some friends were going. Went there and found no one I knew. Left each place after checking out all the art. As usual. But these weren’t the usual places I check out, so I had some new thoughts (and these aren’t pretty thoughts): First, the one in the Canadian Place felt weird, because there were so many security guards in the building. But I assume if you’re going to do well and put your work in fancy galleries this will be the place you’ll want to put your work in. I also noticed the pricing: Everything was hundreds if not thousands, and this was a show for “emerging artists.” 2D work, of course (as we always talk about). Second, it took ages to get to the one at Brock and Queen because of the traffic. Pretty much the same thoughts except the gallery isn’t in a fancy, guarded building. So—I mean—my thoughts were: Do I really want to be here? or somewhere else? If somewhere else, where? Short-term question: “Do I show up tomorrow, or not?” Yes, this means today.

I just received this year’s call for participation in the GradEx. Details are sketchy for now but last year’s insistence on having “constraints of space” has been replaced by their asking us to “participate in large number”. So the question is: Is this call directed to me too? As much I wanted to be part of Grad Ex last year, things have already fallen too much apart this semester; and as well, all my thesis work is now either in the hands of random strangers or inside storage in a museum. I still have maybe half of my trial run pieces… So I guess ultimately I what I want to know is: Should I re-create the work that’s no longer with me?

I told Danica about the weirdness yesterday and we decided that I should talk to the office about it, and so I did go to the office today and was told that my grades were ok and I should get the letter any time now. So imagine my surprise when I got home and found that I just got the letter. So technically I’m now graduated. So what’s next?…

Today is September 11. Yesterday was a deadline; I mentioned it on Twitter and that got picked up by Sarah Mulholland because after the initial curiosity I started ranting about OCAD’s new website. But my own personal deadline was not yesterday but the day before, and I never knew there is still an “internal verification” (probably just meaning checking if the profs really signed the forms I turned in). Now that even the rhetorical deadline has passed, I’m not sure what to call myself any more. Danica asked me how I felt when I dropped by at the AV desk today. “Weird,” I told her. And yes, that’s exactly how I’m feeling right now. According to the registration system, my thesis is still “in progress.” But that still doesn’t change the fact that my library card has just expired, or that I’m not registered for anything. Nor do I really want to unless there’s some way to register for something without triggering the full grad tuition fees. What can I say? This question of liminality just keeps cropping up. No longer here, but not there yet. Everyone, including my advisor, is asking me about what my plans are. I really just have “some sort of a plan” right now.